I was sitting beside him just like this picture and was talking about how we are doing. I asked him again if he was happy with his new life. He seemde happy again and I asked him if he prefers to die or live, and he answered that he was reliefed, cause now he shouldnt think about those responsibilities and at the same time he never hated his life eaither and had fun all the time. Then I lost Ramin cause there was a man who was hunting him and I was worried, I had this power of flying so I started to fly to see everything from the upside and look if I can find Ramin hand save him! I wasnt sure about it so I closed my eyes and asked my father, there he was in front of me and told me that I shouldnt be worried about Ramin, he can make it, but he just should take his vitamin at the right time!!! Then I woke up and thought about the whole dream. I can't still undertsnad the meaning of it. But it was a good dream anyway :)

Sometimes when I look back in time, I can't understand if you really existed. Cause everything seems so unreal when I think deeply, that it makes it harder to believe that we actually had a life together.

I can't believe you're gone. I use your cellphone eveyday. Sometimes I just sit and look at it and think how I got this cellphone and what it is doing at our house and especially in Sweden?! How did I get it? this is Babai's cellphone. What is it doing here?! Sometimes I smell it and wish that it could smell like Babai. But it does'nt. Only the is just memories left.

I had a dream again. In this dream I saw Babai at a café. I was going to meet some friends there but then I saw him on the other side and told my friends that my father was sitting there. They looked but no one could see him. I was the only one who could see him and hear him. So I asked him why he left us and he just smiled and said : I think it's better this way. The day after I saw him again. he was playing card with himself. I went to him and asked him if everything was alright there and if he was happy with his new life. And said that he was and he liked it. It felt like I had contact with him in this dream and I really hope that everything he said was true...

I wish that I always could stand behind him and make sure that everything was alright.

This day we were going to swim somewhere peacfull without anyoing people and police. We used to go and swim in a place that anyone else had discoverd yet. But that day, there was some boys and girls out there. So Babai went there and started to talk to them, cause we had really nowhere else to go. The boy told Babai :"Pedar jan, Don't come closer cause the girls have only bikini" Babai didn't like to be called "pedar jan". But after that we called him "pedar jan" just to make fun of the whole story.

He never got the chance to be a "pedar jan"...

I know that Kish was a big mistake of your life. But I hope that we could make you happy when we were there...

When me, Ramin and mami were waiting at the airport in Denmark to go to Iran to your funeral, we all had that weird feeling. Sometimes we thought about how unreal it would be to go to Iran without seeing you. Sometimes we thought about some funny stuff you used to do and say and we laugh so much that it was hard to breathe. We could feel that you were with us and it felt like you were there and told us to stop crying and just laugh and have fun. Cause I think you always believed that life was a joke. And that we should enjoy every minute. Yesterday we went to a club with my friends. I had really fun and it felt like it was so long time ago I really had fun. When the party was over I thought about you. And I knew that you were happy to see me happy so I decieded too fight to not be unhappy. Enjoy every minute and don't complain about stupid things. Babayi kopoli, I know that you enjoyed every second in your life. It was only one year everything got hard and you didn't even got the time to experience an unhappy life.